Becoming a Desmos Fellow

I started last school year with two professional goals:

• present at a conference
• become a Desmos Fellow

I wanted to push myself and make sure I was filling my bucket. As a working mom, many times I sacrifice personal growth for the sake of time with my children. I am positive that I am not alone in these feelings of inadequacy. I made these goals to push myself out of my comfort zone, and to pursue the self care I so frequently sacrifice.

With the help of some amazing friends and colleagues including those from the Southern California Math Teacher Network and #MTBoS, I was accepted to present at the California Math Council South's Conference (CMC)! This November I will be presenting on visual mathematics, a topic that is very dear to my heart. More on that later.

Then, on Sunday, April 15th, I received my email from Desmos...

Cue the most excited scream I have ever screamed since I was a 12 year old girl. 

I felt like I was accepted into college! Remember that feeling?  You were excited, then nervous, then it snuck up on you? So you’re ready to go, one of the top kids in your school, "this is going to be easy!" you think to yourself. 

Everyone is super nice and on the same page as you. Everyone is motivated to learn and grow. Then classes get hard and you start to wonder whether you belong? 

     “But I was one of the top students in my school!” I told my mom. To which she replied “So were they.” Mic drop. I am surrounded by these incredible people who all are amazing in their worlds. 

Do I really belong here?

This was Desmos Fellows for me. I was intimidated by the idea that this was something I really wanted, but was it the right place for me? 

Day 1, Nikki Chiba (I think it was her) from cohort 2 said: "You were chosen and there is a reason you are here." This was what I needed to hear. My fixed mindset had crept up on me, but I worked through it and met as many people as a could. 

It was a whirlwind of PD, relationship building, team building ice breakers, and learning. And what a well crafted weekend it was. I usually walk away from conferences exhausted and wanting to work but so overwhelmed that I don't know where to start. The Fellows Weekend was different. I wasn't overly exhausted or tired of interacting with math. I was excited. They gave us a nice balance that turned into a spring board.

We were told in advance to come with some ideas, so I had a couple rolling around in the back of my head. I hadn't done any work with the computation layer, but I knew I wanted to exposure to it. During the weekend, we were given time to work on our ideas. Mine turned out to be a difficult endeavor, but I learned so much in the process. By the end, I had a basic framework to my activity as well as meaningful feedback from Desmos Staff and Fellows. It was intimidating to share my activity with fellows who I held in such a high regard. I decided to frame my thought in growth instead of thinking I would be judged. I am so glad I did. What a great learning experience. Not only did I grow, but I was put in the same position I put my students (and teachers) often. True collaboration!

If you haven't already, check it out and let me know what you think! And remember, it is a rough draft. 

Anyway, when I got to the airport to go home, I was still invigorated by the energy of the weekend and CONTINUED TO WORK ON MY ACTIVITY! This has a lot to say about the structure and organization of the fellows weekend. I learned a ton, met a bunch of new people, and I was ready for more.

Now that the dust of the weekend has settled, I still feel a sense of belonging. Desmos constantly creates opportunities to collaborate with the staff and other fellows. They continue to share new things and to help us grow. Desmos has a multifaceted approach to education that we can all appreciate:

Do no harm*Trust Teachers* Design for real classrooms*Design for Delight*Works Every Time

 I got so much more out of the weekend than simple skills using the platform. I met friends, grew as an educator and as a collaborator. And, I was ready to go home and love on my kiddos.